


wishing; a little more than token resistance

by pyrality



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Bittersweet, Character Study, M/M, Relationship Study, mean flirting, post yorknew city arc, references to phantom rouge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 19:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2519387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrality/pseuds/pyrality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Kurapika looks up at Leorio, feels his eyes starting to burn warm beneath his contacts, threatening red. Their relationship, this odd, too warm, too honest thing; Kurapika realizes now that becoming involved with Leorio was like tripping—<br/>stumbling on two left feet—<br/>falling—</p>
  <p>"I could have lost you," he says.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	wishing; a little more than token resistance

He almost— He almost doesn’t tell Leorio that he’s leaving. Melody looks at him when he tells her he has packed his bags and already ordered a cab to the airport. Her brow furrows just barely, disapproving. She moves her fingers up and down rapidly, signifying a rapid heartbeat.

“There is someone you should say goodbye to properly,” Melody says, closing her eyes and smiling as her pointer finger slows down in the air as Kurapika’s heart rate steadies. She opens her eyes and drops her hand back down to her side, smile widening at the embarrassed expression Kurapika is sure his face must be wearing. “How rare,” she comments, amused, “It’s an occasion to see you abashed.”

“It’s not like he’s that important to me,” he hears himself blurt out before he can think twice.

“You just lied,” Melody says, a little sing-song and smug, “Kurapika, I really think he is good for you.”

“He’s stupid is what he is,” Kurapika mutters, rubbing at his face, palm pressing up against his warm cheeks. “He hasn’t even learned how to use nen properly, but he’s always charging into situations headfirst.”

“You sound very fond."

He supposes he is, deep somewhere he would not like to admit exists. He laughs a little, the sound caught in his throat, and presses the heel of his palm into his forehead. He swallows, Adam’s Apple bobbing heavily, and it feels like he’s just swallowed pins and needles. Leorio’s stupid. He’s stupid too, though, he supposes, for closing his eyes and thinking immediately of the warm, goofy way Leorio smiles.

(“I thought about you,” Leorio had said, voice too soft and eyes too warm, when they met each other again in Yorknew City. Kurapika had closed his eyes then too, pinched his thumbs over eyelids, and wished he didn’t feel the phantom weight of chains that weren’t even snaked over the fingers of his right hand at the time.)

“I’m going to get my bags,” he says, dropping his hand from his forehead and opening his eyes slowly.

Melody tilts her head at him, looking concerned. She steps forward, holding her hands out in case she needs to steady him. “Are you alright? You still look unwell.”

“I’m okay,” Kurapika murmurs. He looks away, at the ground, feeling warmth in his cheeks when he asks, "Could you... tell Leorio he is welcome to come to the airport with me?"

Melody opens her mouth as though to scold him but after looking at him, decides to close her mouth, puffing out a fond sigh through her nose. "Alright. But you two should talk later."

"I will talk to him," Kurapika says, and he means it.

Melody seems satisfied at his answer because she smiles and reaches over, tapping her hand against his arm and squeezing before she departs.

He sits down on the bed and pulls out his phone, feels his eyes grow warm at the last text Hisoka sent: "The bodies were fake". Kurapika knows anger— he has been intimate with the workings of the emotion, felt it cloud his better judgment and consume him. He clicks his phone screen off, the black screen dully reflecting his face back at him. There is a dim red glow beneath his black eye contacts.

He wishes he didn't know how Leorio looks at him sometimes when he thinks Kurapika isn't aware. He wishes he didn't know how warm Leorio's eyes could get or how soft his voice could be— and he wishes most that Leorio wasn't so easy to provoke.

(It is too easy— like taking candy from a baby and Kurapika is in love with the volatility of Leorio's emotions, bright, incandescent, see-through clear. He is too honest.)

His phone vibrates in his hand and the screen lights up with a text from Leorio: "Too shy to ask me yourself?" Kurapika can't help but puff out an amused laugh to himself as he swipes to answer the text.

> To: Leorio Paladiknight  
>  Don't be stupid, old man, I have more important matters to attend to than you.

> To: Kurapika Kurta  
>  Hey now, you're gonna hurt this old man's feelings.

> To: Leorio Paladiknight  
>  Not that it's very hard to do that. You're quite the sensitive baby.

> To: Kurapika Kurta  
>  First, you call me "old man" and now "baby"? How fickle!!

Leorio is so easygoing, stupid; he loves with his whole heart. He's a trusting fool, the kind who says "anything for a friend, anything at all" and Kurapika finds himself charmed again and again by the taller teen's naïveté.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
They meet again at the airport and Melody swiftly makes her escape before Kurapika can say anything. She takes their bags with them to go through customs ahead, leaving him alone with Leorio in the bustle of bodies and hellos and goodbyes. Kurapika spies a couple kissing behind Leorio's shoulder, wedding bands gleaming on their fingers, and all he can think of are the chained band rings on his own hand.

"Hey," Leorio says softly, sticking his free hand in his pocket, the other hand holding onto his trademark briefcase.

"Hello," Kurapika manages, voice uneven, rough at the end.

"I feel like I barely got to really see you and talk to you, even after all this time. Now you're heading off again," he laughs, awkward and breathless, eyes bright, "I wish we had had more time to talk," the dark-haired teen says, honest and open in such a way that makes Kurapika want to scold him.

You can't be that kind, that open, that trusting; that gets you killed in this kind of world— Kurapika clenches his fist by his side, raising the other one to push his bangs back, the heel of his palm pressing lightly against his forehead.

“Your fingernails look pretty,” Leorio says, breath stuttering in his throat. His laugh is nervous, limbs bent and turned at awkward angles as he curls forward, back bowing, and raises a hand to scratch at the back of his neck.

Kurapika lowers his hand and unfurls the other, looking down at them, nails coated in scarlet red nail polish he had Melody paint for him. “I’ll miss you,” he admits, not looking up.

He hears Leorio take in a sharp breath in surprise. "I will too," he blurts out. "Kurapika—"

"Stop," he says, looking up, pressing a hand to Leorio's chest. The teen stills, wide-eyed, heart thudding rapidly beneath his ribcage.

Kurapika isn’t sure why he resists what he knows he needs— the way Leorio’s eyes soften when they look at him from over the rim of his glasses always makes his heart clench in painful ways.

"Kurapika," he murmurs, "is everything okay?"

“You and I,” the blond says, hand still pressed over Leorio’s chest, feeling the increasing rapidity of his heartbeat against his fingers. He drops his hand, “we live in different worlds.”

“What the hell does that mean?” the taller teen asks, breath coming out in a sharp puff. He brings his hands up, gesturing at nothing, brow wrinkling in confusion. “We’ve been through so much together—"

“That’s exactly it,” the blond blurts out. "You've seen that other side of me. I killed Uvogin and," Kurapika closes his eyes, "Pakunoda broke her vow and my judgment chain killed her too—"

"Did you want me to _yell_  at you," Leorio says, flat unlike a question, and his voice is low and cold and _angry_  in a way that makes Kurapika flinch, startled. "I know you don't want my pity, but that's not what this is about."

He shouldn't have ever involved Leorio and the others— his heart aches when he thinks about how close he was to losing Gon and Killua.

(He thinks of Pairo when he sees Killua's fingers tugging on Gon's sleeve, trying to catch the bright-eyed boy's attention.)

Kurapika looks up at Leorio, feels his eyes starting to burn warm beneath his contacts, threatening red. Their relationship, this odd, too warm, too honest thing; Kurapika realizes now that becoming involved with Leorio was like tripping—  
stumbling on two left feet—  
falling—

"I could have _lost_ you," he says.

Leorio's eyes widen and his mouth falls open, fingers at his sides twitching. "I'm right here, Kurapika." He reaches forward, fingers twisting into Kurapika's clothes, over his heart. "Right here. I don't care about what you've done— I'll still be here. You're so dumb— I'm your," he falters, chokes, face red with anger, "I'm your goddamn _friend_  so you should start trusting me like I am one. Show me your worst side. God, I,” he takes a deep breath, "I thought about you so much while we were apart,” Leorio says fiercely, brow pinched, hands clenching even tighter against his clothes, “I  _missed_ you—“

Kurapika tugs him down by his tie before he can think it through, pressing his mouth to Leorio’s. It's a clumsy kiss, uncoordinated, and the other boy is initially frozen stiff against him, suitcase slipping out of his fingers to hit the lineoleum floor with a loud thud. Leorio tilts his head to try and alleviate the bad positioning of their kiss from awkward height difference.

"You're not my friend," he breathes against Leorio's mouth when they break apart, "You're the one that's stupid."

"A boyfriend is still a type of friend—" Leorio blurts out defensively, pink in the face.

"Shut up," Kurapika murmurs, but it's breathless and fond, and hardly without bite when he kisses Leorio again.


End file.
